


i dont want to mess this up

by oceam



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Communication, Friendship, Healthy Relationships, Mental Health Issues, Non-Binary Katsuki Yuuri, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Male Character, Trans Otabek Altin, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, background saramila, let the kid have a friend!, my headcanons about yurio in a fic, no one is cis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceam/pseuds/oceam
Summary: Yurio is struggling with his attachment issues and decides to talk it out





	i dont want to mess this up

**Author's Note:**

> i love the potential that yurio has as a character but i hate him in canon so this is my attempt to make him better and deal with how much i hate welcome to the madness. this is anti-ot/ayuri

Yurio wouldn’t have done anything. He would have just ignored it, his better, rational mind knows that it’s just his attachment issues acting up, that it will move on. But it’s been months since the thought first popped into his mind. _I think I have a crush on Otabek and that’s no good._ So he’s heading up the stairs to Yuuri and Victor’s apartment.

He just needs to talk it through with someone he trusts, and Mila’s out on a date with Sara so that won’t do. He rings the doorbell and hears a soft woof and the skitter of paws across a hard floor.

“Coming,” he hears someone shout. A few seconds later, Yuuri is opening the door. He can hear Victor whining, probably upset about having to be separated from his fiancé for even a moment. “Yurio, come in,” Yuuri doesn’t even stop to tease the kid, they must be able to tell something’s wrong. “Go sit down, I’ll make tea.”

Yurio makes his way to the living room, where Viktor is sprawled out on the couch. He first smiles upon seeing Yurio, but his face turns more serious when he sees the boy’s expression. Yurio flops down on the side of the couch farthest away from Victor, grabbing a pillow to bury his head in. Victor just waits silently, something which Yuuri is grateful for. It seems like the man never shuts up, but apparently he is more perceptive than he seems. Yurio guesses that being with Yuuri has something to do with that, he needs to be more in tune with their emotions in order to best help them.

Yuuri returns a few minutes later with a kettle and three precariously balanced tea cups. A bowl of tea bags is already on the coffee table. “You like herbal tea, yeah?” Yuuri asks. Yurio nods. He can’t work up the nerve to speak yet.

Victor opens tea for himself and his fiancé while Yuuri is preparing Yurio’s. “Whatever you need, we are here for you Yura,”

he says. Yurio nods. He buries his face in the pillow one last time, takes a deep breath in, and speaks. “I guess, the thing is, I think I have a crush? On Otabek, and I know that's bad and all since he’s 19 now and I’m only 16, and it’s especially not good for me because I know it's just my attachments talking because I crave affection so much after my parents abandoned me, and I just wanted to tell someone because my jackass brain won’t let me move on and it’s getting in the way of our friendship-” Yurio is red eyed, tears running down his face despite his best efforts to hide it.

Yuuri can understand where he's coming from in a way, they had felt like that about Victor at first. They worried that their relationship with Victor wouldn't be healthy as a romantic one because of Yuuri’s hero worship of their coach as a child.

“I just want to be able to have a fucking friend without my brain ruining it for me! And I feel like I should tell him, he knows a bit about my mental health, but I’m worried it would mess things up between us. I’ve never had a friend before, I just want to be happy god dammit.” He sniffs and wipes his eyes, and takes a sip of his tea.

Victor and Yuuri wait for him to raise his head and make eye contact before speaking. When he does, it’s Yuuri who speaks first. “Do you want advice?” Yurio nods. “You trust him a lot, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Yurio mutters.

“I want you to explain fully to him why this kind of thing happens to you, and what to look out for with your promiscuity issues. Tell him you have a crush on him, tell him you’re worried that it will have an impact on your friendship.”

“I also do want you to be prepared for the possibility of having to cut him off, if things do go badly. If he shows any interest in you, that’s a big red flag. I highly doubt that, it’s really not like Otabek, but I just want you to know what you have to do. But it also doesn’t mean there's anything wrong with you if he doesn't like you romantically. He loves you as a friend, okay? And Yuuri and I love you. You are worthy of love, you don't need to compromise yourself to get it,” Victor says.

Yurio chokes down a sob. He does love Otabek a lot, as a friend, and the possibility of having to cut him off fills him with dread. The sadness hits him again, and again, and he begins to cry. Red face, snot, ugly hiccups. He’s angry that his parents left him, angry that he could never fit in with the kids at school, angry that he can’t seem to love himself for who he is and that he still finds himself rejecting his grandpa, Mila, Victor, and Yuuri at times. Victor and Yuuri just wait there on the couch as he cries his heart out into the pillow. It should feel awkward, having people sit there as he cries for the first time in years, but it doesn’t. He’s getting out everything that he had bottled up and it feels so good. When the tears finally stop and he looks up, Yuuri is smiling at him softly. Victor is scratching Makkachin’s ears.

“Thank you guys, and, I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I know it’s because of my shit mental health, but it’s still never okay. I’m sorry for all the cruel things I said."

“You’re forgiven,” says Yuuri, and Victor nods in agreement. “I’ll be right back.”

They head off into the kitchen. Victor and Yurio are left there. “I’m proud of you, okay? And I would be proud of you no matter what, even if you couldn't stand up on skates.” Victor says softly.

Yurio nods, the ghost of a smile crossing his face. “I’m sure everything will work out.”

Yuuri comes back with a bag full of sugar cookies in the shape of cat and dog heads. “Victor baked these, I was thinking you would like some to take back home with you. Unless you want to stay here for the night, which you can. We do have a guest room.”

“Thank you, I think I will go home though, someone has to pester Mila about her hot date.”

“Do you need anything else?” Victor asks.

“I’m alright, but thank you so much for everything. It, uh, really means a lot to me, I’m grateful to have you two in my life,” says Yurio.

Victor and Yuuri see him off to the door, Yurio insisting that yes he will be warm enough and no, he doesn't need them to walk him home. He feels loved though.

Once Yurio is headed back down the stairs, Victor speaks. “I had been worried about him after Welcome to the Madness. He had been getting better with that stuff, but I guess it really isn't his fault.”

Yuuri presses their cheek into Victor’s shoulder. “He’s a good kid. I know he cares even if he doesn’t act like it.”

“I love you,” whispers Victor, kissing Yuuri

“I love you,” echoes Yuuri when they break apart.

 

 

**To: Beka**

hey can u facetime rn

**From: Beka**

yea

**To: Beka**

ok

Yurio smiles when Otabek’s face appears on the screen.

“Hey kid what’s up?”

“I actually, have something serious I want to tell you.” Otabek nods. “Well I sort of have a crush on you? But it’s in a way that’s bad for me because of my shit with my parents you know, I get infatuated with anyone who shows they care about me. And cause I admire you a lot cause we’re both trans and, you know. And I wanted to let you know so you would uh, be aware of it and help me out and hopefully it will fade. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I care about you a lot and I want to keep being your friend. So, uh yeah."

“Thank you for telling me Yuri.”

“Are you mad?”

“Of course not. I’m just happy you trust me enough to tell me this. And I want you to tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I love you a lot, in a friend way of course, and I really value our relationship. And yeah, I’m not interested in you romantically at all but that doesn't mean I don't love you and care about you, okay?”

It’s past midnight when Yuri and Otabek finally end their call, to Otabek’s insistence that they both get rest. Yuri falls asleep with a smile on his face and a heavy weight off his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a lot of friends who act similarly to yurio and i tend to project them onto him because i know what they're going through and it makes me have a soft spot for the kid. i wanted to make him apologize because i hate how mean he is and also i hate otayuri but i do headcanon that he has some sort of weird crush, something that i can relate to as someone with codependency issues. this is the first fic ive written in years, i hope u enjoyed!! comments & kudos greatly appreciated


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